In the kitchen is a stock of delicious, edible replacement of the male member

Hassnae Bouazza (right) and Nadia Zerouali (left).

While the major religions warn against sinning with hell and damnation, according to the Egyptian-American writer and feminist Mona Eltahawy there are just seven necessary sins that women must commit for their freedom: anger, ambition, desecration, violence, attention seeking, lust and power. She writes that in her new book annex manifesto against patriarchy, The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls

Now, female anger is something conservative and sexist men often have an answer to: women who raise their voices or express indignation can be laughed at and dismissed as hysterical. Of the seven sins mentioned by Eltahawy, lust is therefore perhaps the most threatening. From feminine lust, feminine sexuality being celebrated and propagated openly and proudly, conservative men, who derive their masculinity from the fact that they are men, whatever that means, become very nervous.

That is not limited to one religion or culture. You see it everywhere, and more and more with the rise of the populist, conservative and far right: for years we thought that the feminist struggle here in the West was almost over, we are suddenly confronted with powerful and influential political leaders from the archaic keg that feminism is a threat, women are not in charge of their own bellies and women’s time at the kitchen counter was a beautiful one.

Of course, that countertop is not just any countertop. It is the traditional place where the woman serves the man and takes care of the family. It is a place of servitude and submission, which emphasizes the division of roles and which conservative men prefer to stay away from, except to indicate what should come from that kitchen on the table.

Sometimes that is apparently quite disruptive for a certain type of man. Every once in a while, somewhere in the world a story comes out about aubergines, cucumbers or courgettes with which women can perform outrageous acts. The puritanical Facebook, which glorifies violence and criminalizes sex, even bans the use of the aubergine emoji for sexual innuendo.

The aubergine as a phallus symbol and a replacement for just that one physical characteristic that insecure men pride themselves on: their member and its supposed size.

It is also quite painful when you are allowed to dominate the world on the basis of that one cock, rod, tampeloere, pole, pencil, cock and find out that in the kitchen, that inferior place reserved for women who have to serve you, a large stock of delicious, edible substitute.

In the end it doesn’t matter how you set up the cage; where the mind is free and the fire burns in the loins, women always know how to turn that cage into a haven from which the great escape can be planned. And those men unexpectedly eat food.

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